Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I am naked and annoyed.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
