Define "chronic" masturbator.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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