Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
