I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
