Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
