I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
