I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
