we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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