I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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