I just pynch a tree in the face
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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