Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
