Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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