Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
