why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
