this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize
