Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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