The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
