omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
