but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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