I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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