I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
