What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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