Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
