you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
