Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
