they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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