If that was your dad, he is hot
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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