that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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