I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
