His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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