...so i touched it.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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