he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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