there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
My ass is underappreciated
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
