she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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