Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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