do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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