Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
