My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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