Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
