Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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