Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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