ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
