That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
