I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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