did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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