When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
