so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
