This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
