We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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