he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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