I can't watch pbs sober anymore
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
